


Please

by SixxWrites



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SixxWrites/pseuds/SixxWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Highschool/College AU. Everyone from the 104th Training is in highschool while everyone else has graduated and are in college. This is about romance, heart break, drug abuse, bullying, self harm and suicide. Basically touching on what it's like to be a teenager in today's age.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Senior Year

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter is more of an introduction to the main characters and hinting at what is in store to come.

_Eren’s POV_

  
It honestly couldn’t have been a worse start to my senior year. I sat at the back of the bus with my sister and her girlfriend. Well, my foster sister, but that’s not the point. Next to me was my best frienemy; Jean Kirstein. So maybe it was a little childish to call him my “frienemy”, especially since such a word really didn’t exist, but it summed up our relationship well.

  
I met Jean my freshman year at Titan High. In fact, I met the majority of my friends that year. The only people I had before were my sister, Mikasa, and my best friend, Armin. Jean sat with us at lunch and hit on Mikasa nonstop. She found it funny. I found it infuriating. Years, later, though, he finally gave up his pursuit on my sister and didn’t act like such a self-entitled ass all the time. He still had his moments, though.

  
But back to the present. Why was this the worse start you may ask? Simple. I was stuck in the back of the bus watching my sister lock tongues with Sasha and have to put up with horse face’s presence. Not only that, but I couldn’t even sit next to Armin because he was sitting with Annie. Him and Annie had gotten rather close over the summer. Or so he says. I don’t know how anyone could get close to such an emotionless, smart ass, but if anyone could manage, it didn’t surprise me that it was Armin. Armin had a kind, sweet nature about him. He was really nice. I just hoped for Annie’s sake that she didn’t make him cry because I would tear her up.

  
Okay so maybe Annie was more skilled than me when it came to combat and maybe she would beat my ass up before I even laid a finger on her, but Armin was my best friend and that didn’t mean I wouldn’t try! Armin meant a lot to me and I knew from experience that Annie could be a rather heartless bitch. We met Annie sophomore year. She had just been transferred from Saint Maria’s Academy. Apparently she was too much of a pain to keep up with at such a strict, religious school. Honestly, that wasn’t hard to believe.  
The ride to school was long and horrific. Jean went on and on about how it was his senior year and he was single. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about his shitty love life. It was obvious why he was single. Not only was he whiny and a know it all, but he was also really awkward and nervous when it came to people he liked. That was obvious through his pursuit of Mikasa.

  
When we finally got there, I was relieved to finally get rid of Jean. Mikasa said her goodbyes to Sasha and me, then departed for her first class. I was going to go up and talk to Armin before my first class, but he looked rather occupied in a conversation by Annie, which was weird because she didn’t tend to talk much. It occurred to me then that Annie didn’t have to talk much because Armin was usually good at filling up a silence. So I just put my shit in my locker and made my way to my first hour class.  
By lunch time, I was absolutely starving. I had skipped breakfast that morning, so food sounded really appealing. I put my stuff down at our usual table and then jumped in line. When I returned, there was a small crowd around our table. My heart sped up and all I could think was one thing; Did Levi come to visit so soon?  
I pushed people aside and sat down, only to be disappointed. It was just Hanji.

  
“Eren!” she said happily, taking the seat next to mine. “How’s high school?” She always started our conversations with that same line.  
I met Levi and Hanji my freshman year. They were seniors then. For the past few years, they had been going to the local college and would come visit sometimes during lunch. Usually Hanji and Levi were together, but I didn’t see Levi anywhere. I wanted to ask her where he was, but that would have been rude and annoying.  
“It blows. Like usual. How’s college?” I asked back, picking up the school distributed garbage they called food and taking a bite. It was awful, but I was so hungry I kept eating.  
“Oh you know! Fun, actually! I might be moving to England next year to continue my studies at Cambridge!” She was so excited I almost want to jump for joy for her. “They said that my research work is phenomenal and they’d love to have me!”

  
“That’s great, Hanji!” Armin cut in, sitting on my opposite side. “Sounds like a great opportunity.”

  
“My only problem is that I don’t really want to leave any of you guys,” she said softly with a frown, looking over the table as more of our friends came to sit. “Especially Levi.”

  
“Levi would want you to go,” Mikasa said suddenly, taking a seat. “Don’t worry about him. Take your chance.”

  
“I only worry about him because he’s not exactly the best at making friends,” she whispered, then looked around like he would be standing there and scowling at her.

  
“Speaking of Levi, where is he?” I asked, feeling it was the appropriate moment to. Hopefully that didn’t sound too attached or anything.

  
“Oh I thought he was going to meet me over here, but I’m not sure. Maybe he got out late and stopped to smoke a cigarette. I’ll send him a text. Hold on.” She pulled out her phone and sent him a message. I couldn’t wait any longer. My curiosity was getting the better of me and I wondered what he would reply with. Maybe he didn’t want to see me, which was really silly because had he not just been over at my house at three in the morning because he couldn’t sleep just to see me the other night? Had he not climbed into my window and lay in my bed with me talking for hours about literally nothing?

  
I don’t really remember what happened next, but suddenly there he was, just walking over to our table with his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes shifted down. I knew he wasn’t exactly fond of his high school memories, but at least people didn’t mess with him.

  
I was the first one out of my seat and I latched on to him, like a leach would on a leg. I squeezed him tightly and took in his scent. He smelled like cigarette smoke and peppermint. It was an intoxicating smell that I had learned to adore.

  
“Oi, Eren,” he hissed, pushing me away. “Get off of me.”

  
Jean laughed at me and I made a whining sound. I did as he asked, though. Levi was never one to want me to touch him a lot. I felt foolish myself, especially having grabbed on to him like that. I had just missed him so much. I hadn’t seen him since that night that he crawled into my window to talk about nothing and just be in my presence. That was three days ago. Three days without any contact whatsoever; be that physically nor electronically.

  
He made Hanji move and sat next to me, one arm draped over the back of my chair. He crossed his left leg over his right and rested his left foot across my lap. It was an oddly comfortable position for what seemed like the both of us. We all got caught up on their lives and went over how the first day back was treating us. I finished my food more slowly than I had intended to, but when you were talking to Hanji and Levi, it was easy to get distracted.

  
When the bell rang, indicating that we should rush off to our next class, I looked at Levi with a sad expression. Everyone got up and hugged Hanji goodbye. She whispered something to Levi, then followed everyone else out of the cafeteria. I threw away my trash and went up to Levi, expecting something, anything really.  
He reached out like he was going to pull me into a kiss, but then he stopped and sighed. I knew that Levi wasn’t into public displays of affection, but I also knew how much he really did love to show affection. I also knew that he had never said goodbye without at least a hug and a cheek kiss. “I’ll text you later,” he said and made his way to the door.  
I ran after him and caught his shoulder. “Hey! What was that? No hug? No kiss? Not even an, “I love you”?”

  
“Eren, I can’t give you any of that he-- “

  
I cut him off with a kiss. It was quick and rushed since I had my next class to go to. I knew I was going to pay for that later, but I honestly didn’t care. “You’re not going to text me later. You’re going to come over later and we’ll watch a movie or something.” I didn’t give him the chance to protest, so I took off towards my locker. I looked back to see him glaring at me and Hanji laughing at his slightly pink cheeks. I knew that whatever punishment he decided to give me later would definitely be worth that memory. Now all I had to do was make it through the rest of the day without any incidents.

  
On my way to my locker, I crashed into this tall, broad guy with short brown hair and freckles. We both crashed to the floor.

  
“Ah! I’m so sorry!” he squeaked nervously, gathering up his books and pencils off the floor.

  
“Uh, no problem,” I replied, trying to keep my anger in check. It wasn’t his fault after all. I mean, accidents happened and he seemed frantic enough as it was.  
“Do you happen to know where room 1143 is? My next hour class is there and I can’t find it,” he asked after we both picked ourselves up.  
“Yeah, my next class is there. Let me just swing by my locker and then you can follow me there.”

  
By the end of class, I learned that his name was Marco Bodt and he had just moved here from Costa Rica. His dad was relocated here and he hadn’t made a single friend all day. I felt sorry for the guy and it turned out we spent the rest of our day together. Then when I was trying to help him find his bus, I realized that he had the same bus, which was weird, but he was pretty cool so I let him sit next to me. It beat sitting next to horse-face after all.

  
“Who’s that?” he asked, timidly pointing at the bastard I literally just mentioned wanting to avoid.

  
“That’s Jean. Don’t let looks deceive you. He looks like a cool guy, right? I mean with two-tone hair style thing going on, but he’s not. Trust me.” So maybe I was being a bit harsh when talking about Jean. I actually felt kind of bad. “Well,” I went on, deciding not to be too awful. “I mean, he’s not that bad. He just boasts a lot and talks about how rich he is, which is annoying as hell.”

  
Marco laughed. “He’s really cute. I mean…” The poor guy covered his face with his hands. He probably thought I was going to hate on him for thinking another guy was cute.

  
“Hey! Don’t be shy about it. When I first met Jean, I thought he had a nice ass.” That was no lie and I actually felt embarrassed for having said that out loud.

  
“Excuse me what?” Jean turned around sharply in his seat. “What the hell are you talking about? I heard my name!”

  
Shit. I had to find some way to distract Jean from what I had said. No way was I going to let him hold that comment over my head. “Hey! Jean, this is Marco and he thinks you’re cute.”

  
The blush that spread across Marco’s face made me feel awful for having said that. “Eren!” he cried, sinking in his seat to try and hide.

  
Jean blushed, too, but didn’t say anything. He just turned around in his seat and stared out the window in silence. He seemed really lonely and for a moment, I wondered who was going to have to sit next to him.

  
That’s when I got an idea. “Hey, Marco,” I said softly, poking at the embarrassed boy. “You should go sit next to him. You know, make friends!”

  
Marco nodded, feeling unsure. “Uh, yeah, okay.” I saw him take a deep breath and try to rebuild some of his shattered confidence. He sat next to Jean and stared down. Oh well. My guilt was gone for the moment anyways.

  
Armin ended up sitting next to me because Annie got a ride home from Bertoldt and Reiner. He was gushing nonstop about her. I honestly wanted him to stop, but then again, it was really cute the way he was all excited and happy when he was talking, so I gave him his moment.

  
“Whoa what?”

  
“What?” he asked back, looking at me strangely.

  
“What did you just say?”

 

“I said I… I said that I asked her to dinner and she said yes.” He grinned

.  
I had to take a moment to let that sink in. Miss Don’t-Fucking-Talk-To-Me-You’re-Not-Worth-My-Time was actually going on a date with my best friend? That felt way too surreal to be possible. Eventually it was my stop and I grabbed Mikasa’s arm and pulled her off the bus with me. Looking back at the stop, I noticed Marco sheepishly coming off the bus. He looked around and nodded, as if remembering this was his neighborhood or something. I guess that would explain the trucks I saw across the street this summer.  
Armin, Mikasa, and I waited for him to catch up with us, then started the trek down the street.

  
“So, Marco,” I said casually, looking back at him. “How was your bus ride with Jean?”

  
“Oh, not too bad. We didn’t even look at each other for the first part of it, but eventually, I caught him sneaking looks at me. It turned out to be a lot better than I thought and he even gave me his number.”

  
He looked as happy as Armin did when he went on about Annie. Poor Marco. Had I accidentally set him up with Jean? Shit. “Ah, well just so you know, Jean’s a bit desperate.”

  
“Don’t be mean, Eren,” Mikasa scolded, punching me in the arm. I had to admit, that actually stung a little.

  
“He didn’t seem desperate to me. He just gave me his number and said we should hang out sometime. Besides, isn’t he straight? He acts like it.”

  
Armin and I looked at each other and then started laughing. “Straight? Oh that’s a good one! Have you seen the way he sits? The way he holds himself? Jean might be a little bit into girls, but there is no way he is one hundred percent straight.”

  
“Oh… Oh!” Marco’s face lit up. “Well, uh, this is my house. I’ll catch you guys later!” He waved goodbye and ran up to his porch, unlocking the door, and letting himself in. I bet he was going to go in there and immediately text Jean. Poor, stupid fool.

  
Armin ended up coming over. That happened a lot, actually. Almost every day. As we continued our voyage home, I saw a car in our driveway; one that wasn’t Mikasa’s nor mine. It was Levi’s and that was enough to get me to run the rest of the way. I stopped at the end of the driveway and nonchalantly walked up to the driver side of the car. Levi had the window cracked and a cigarette lit.

  
“Fancy meeting you here, stranger,” I purred, trying to sound too cool for my own good.

  
He just rolled his eyes at me. “If that’s your version of some kind of pick up line, then I have no idea what I’m doing here.”

  
“Okay, I admit, that was pretty lame. Now hurry up and finish your cigarette so I ravish you inside.” I smirked at him.

  
He took a long drag and then put out the cigarette in the ashtray of his car. Usually he didn’t smoke in his car. He must have had a troubling day. “You’re not going to ravish me, shit for brains. Your sister and friend are here.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head like that was too obvious and I was an idiot for not picking that up. I did feel like an idiot, honestly.

  
Eventually I coaxed him out of his car and inside the house. Sasha ended up coming over and Mikasa ordered pizza. We all lounged around for a movie night. Armin went home and Levi and I went upstairs into my room. I locked the door and he gave me a disapproving glance when he heard the click.

  
“What?” I asked innocently, tugging him to sit on the bed with me.

  
“I told you earlier that there is to be no ravishing,” he said sternly, crossing his arms to make a point.

  
“Oh yeah? You also said I couldn’t get public kisses especially at school and what happened earlier, hm?” I smirked at that, feeling like a complete badass. The feeling was short lived.

  
“I actually wanted to talk about that.” The seriousness in his voice was a huge boner killer and suddenly, I really didn’t want to kiss him until neither of us could breath


	2. After School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren have a fight that doesn't end too well. Armin's worried about his crush. Jean and Marco play cards.

Levi’s POV

I still remember the first time I saw Eren Jaeger. The idiot was in my Physical Education class and obviously had no idea how to run. Coach made us jog around the gym for five minutes. It wasn’t the hardest thing in the universe, but by the end, there was Jaeger, clutching his stomach and breathing hard. Weak. That was my first impression of him.

_“Hey, you! Freshie!” Hanji sang, motioning for Eren to come over to our little group. “You poooor thing. That work out was really tough, huh?” She laughed a bit to herself. “Want to play badminton with us?”_

_He looked so nervous and I actually thought he would be fun to mess with. “Uh sure!” he exclaimed, finally catching his breath._

_He left us to go get his own racket and that’s when we all conversed. It was Hanji, Petra, Erwin, Mike, and I. We always stuck together. I even thought that we would always be together, but that was just a stupid fairy tale. We discussed who would be on Eren’s team. Mike, Petra, and Hanji were on one side, which left Erwin and I with Eren._

_When the kid returned, he was absolutely awful. He couldn’t hit worth shit and he was always bumping into Erwin and I; more often me. Even though he was awful and our team was obviously losing, the fucking brat still smiled. He was smiling and laughing and actually having fun._

_By the time Coach blew the whistle for us to put our shit away, I was very happy to be away from Eren Fucking Jaeger. I just wanted to change into my normal –normal by my standards—clothes and make out with my boyfriend in the cramped bathroom stall._

_But nooooo. Eren was right next to my locker and honestly, I felt really vulnerable and exposed with him so close to me while I was changing. So I changed in the bathroom._

But this wasn’t Eren’s Freshman year anymore and honestly, I didn’t have any problems changing clothes in front of him. This was Eren’s Senior year and that really worried me. I’d never actually tell anyone that I was worried about my childish boyfriend going off to a college in another state and forgetting all about me. I was often forgotten and honestly, I did not want this to happen again.

Erwin Smith had been my everything. He kept me in line and got me to quit my “nasty habits” as he called them. That meant cocaine, but saying “nasty habits” sounds so much better to me. I thought we were in love, as stupid as that sounds. We dated from the beginning of Junior year to the first few weeks of Senior year. Then he left me for Petra and that killed me.

But enough about those assholes. I was talking about my asshole; specifically Eren. I know that if he goes away, he’ll find someone better and then what am I going to do with myself? I’m probably going to go back to coke and might drop out of school. I can see it now. Selling my body for my next fix, but come on. I’m stronger than that and some brat that will forever be a Freshman in my mind can’t make me sink after I tried so hard to swim. No way.

He kissed me in the hallway. Not only was that completely crossing the line, but it was also quite unsanitary since he had just ate lunch. The thought of what was in that mouth before it met mine is enough to make me shiver with disgust. Yet, I stood there after it happened and I still obeyed his wish to see me. I knew I should have ignored him, punished him for something he knew not to do, but I wanted to see him, too. Besides, I had been ignoring him the past few days with no reason.

Perhaps this was my punishment. I was stuck with a love struck puppy dog that can’t follow simple guidelines. He wrapped me around his finger and before I know it, he’ll throw me away like I meant nothing. I know it’s bound to happen. That’s what Erwin did, and Petra before him. That’s what everyone does. I’m surprised I even said yes to Eren in the first place. I never thought I’d fall in love, though.

_He walked up to me as I was half way through changing. By this point, I really didn’t care about how uncomfortable he made me feel. It was three weeks until Seniors were to graduate anyways and I just had to get through the last days of high school; broken heart and non-caring attitude._

_I had just put on my shirt and slipped on my jeans when I heard a soft, “Uhm, Levi, can we talk?”_

_I sighed and all I could think about was the fact that this was the last class of the day and all I wanted to do was go home, blast music in my room for about an hour, annoy the hell out of my younger sister, then leave for work. Of course, Eren of all people would be the person to screw that up for me. “Only if you can walk and talk, brat,” I hissed, closing my PE locker, picking up my bag, and making my way out of the room._

_He struggled for a second to quickly gather his things and chase after me. I never really understood him. I always took out my frustrations on him and even call him names. Why the hell didn’t he just leave me alone? Why wasn’t he afraid of me? What possessed him to sit at my lunch table and call me his friend?_

_“Levi, I wanted to ask if you were okay. I mean, Hanji told me about Erwin when it happened… I guess that was like a while ago, right? Not the point. My point is are you okay?” he asked, walking close by my side so no one else could hear._

_I looked up at him for a minute and I decided that I really wanted to punch him, then hug him, then punch him again. But we were in the halls and I couldn’t just “act out” or whatever._

_“I’m fine, Eren. Thanks for asking.” That’s when I started walking a bit faster to my locker. I’m pretty sure that was the nicest thing I had ever said to him at the time._

_His stupid face lit up and he smiled. “I’m glad you’re good, Levi because I wanted to confess something. I really, really like you and I wanted to know if you’d go out with me. This Saturday Jean’s throwing a party and I wanted you to come with me. You know, like together.”_

_I wanted to laugh. I reminded myself that Eren was a Freshman and he really didn’t know how the high school scene went. First of all, going to a party with someone was the farthest thing from a date I had ever heard of. Secondly, no one confesses that they “really really like you” anymore. That’s middle school stuff! But the look on his face and how completely nervous he was made me feel like he really meant it. So I said yes and the rest is history._

But when I look at Eren now, that sincerity is gone and that worries me. He’s different now than he was then. He’s more outspoken and violent. Okay, so he was always really outspoken and violent, but now it’s different. Before he use to fight for what he believed in, but now it’s just to argue, just to fight. He’s different and I don’t know what to do about it.

He was looking at me with scared eyes. He was tense and I knew he wasn’t going to relax for a while. All he wanted was sweet kisses and a bit more, but I was the mean boyfriend. Oh yes, I was not going to allow Eren any pleasure. Not now. Not ever. Of course, that’s all a lie and I felt kind of guilty, so I kept talking.

“What you did earlier was completely crossing the line. I have these rules for a reason, Eren. If anyone had seen, do you have any idea what kind of hell you’d be in? Kids are ruthless and they’ll always be ruthless.” I fixed him with an angry glare.

He shrunk a bit, obviously feeling guilty. “I don’t care!” he blurted out, throwing his hands up dramatically.

I just rolled my eyes and muttered, “Drama queen.”

“I’m not afraid of anyone, Levi! I can take anyone. I don’t care what they do. I just want the freedom to kiss my boyfriend when I want!” There it was; the sincerity that had me falling for him in the first place.

It nearly took my breath away, but that’s some kind of romantic bullshit used to paint up any scene. Honestly, though, it did make my heart speed up. “Eren, just wait a little bit longer. College is different.” Shit. College. I accidentally brought up a subject I really didn’t want to talk about, so I had to think fast to change the subject.

“But, Levi! We won’t even be attending the same college,” he whined.

Fuck. I wasn’t fast enough. I did not want to talk about this. No. Nope. Not gonna happen. Oh God, no. I stood up, feeling my anxiety rising. “Eren, we are not having this discussion.”

“You always say that! I want to have this discussion, though! So why won’t you listen to me!?”

It was in my chest. I could feel it. There was no way I could possibly coax myself out of having an attack while Eren sat there fucking yelling at me. “Eren just shut up!”

“I will not! What’s wrong with you?! You use to always be there for me and listen and now I can’t even tell people that we talk every day! You ignore me and you push things off! I feel like you’re pushing me away!”

I couldn’t do this in front of him. I left the room and made it to the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it.

Armin’s POV

After I left Eren’s house, I texted Annie and asked her if she wanted to come over. She replied with, “Can’t. Dad’s making me do exercises again. He’d kill me if he knew I was texting you right now instead of stretching.” The text made me sigh.

I wish I could help Annie get out of the clutches of her strict father. She told me that he wanted her to be a boxer; that it was apparently in her blood. But she said she didn’t want to be a boxer. She wanted to go into psychology.

I had only met Annie’s father one time. I walked in and Annie introduced us and then he went on for twenty minutes about how weak I looked and he couldn’t believe his daughter was hanging out with someone so skinny. I really didn’t care what he said, but I could tell Annie did. Her face was blank and her grip on my wrist tightened. It was the little things about Annie that told me everything.

But tonight, at this time, I just wanted to see her.

Annie’s mother was arrested for beating the woman who her husband was cheating on her with to death.  She goes to visit her once a month. Annie said her mom was the one who use to protect her from her father; the one who wanted Annie to follow her dreams. I wanted nothing more than to fill in for her mom, as weird as that sounds. I just wanted to protect her and make sure she was allowed her dream.

It’s selfish, but I thanked God I didn’t live in Annie’s situation. Living with my grandfather was far better. He didn’t care if I had company and he was always really nice and encouraging. He didn’t care that my best friend was gay or that the girl I liked was a little bit cold towards others. He didn’t care that I wanted do theater instead of sports. He was always so supportive and anything I wanted, within reason, he would try his best to get for me.

Sometimes I thought it was only because he felt guilty about what happened to my parents, but it’s not like it was his fault. Sometimes planes crashed and sometimes people didn’t make it. That’s what happens and I’m okay with it… Now, anyways.

But tonight, I wanted to go and see someone. Annie was training. Eren was with Levi. Mikasa was with Sasha. Connie was at Magic the Gathering match with Thomas. Reiner and Bertoldt were out to dinner. Ymir and Christa were seeing a movie. My last resort was Jean. I sent him a text, asking if he wanted to hang out, but surprisingly, I never received an answer.

Jean’s POV

The new kid was really funny and cute and nice and just overall really sweet. He had this confidence, though, and damn that was attractive.

Not that I’m gay.

But I’m not saying I’m not bi.

Marco was a fun name, too. It was a name that everyone had heard before, but you really didn’t know anyone by the name. Just like Carlos or Mary. I was really glad to know this Marco, though.

Freckles are cute, but I’m way too cool to sit there and count the ones on his face.

Okay so maybe I did and maybe there are thirteen on his right cheek and ten on the other. Maybe there's not. The world may never know. Well, I knew and let me say that yes. That's not a lie. There really are twenty-three freckles on his face.

After the embarrassing situation on the bus, he texted me and I asked if he wanted to come over. I offered to drive him. He said he’d love to, but he could find his way there on his own and that’s how Marco came over.

“Jean?” he asked.

The voice snapped me out of my little trance and I perked up. “Huh?”

He laughed. “I asked if you were in any sports.”

“Oh.” I shifted a bit, shuffling the cards in my hand. It was his idea to play black jack while we talked. “I use to be on the football team, but I didn’t join this year.”

“Why not?”

I dealt out two cards each. “I broke my shin last year and now I can’t even run for PE.”

“Oh.” He frowned, picking up his cards and looking them over. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you into sports?”

“Not really. The kids were really competitive where I grew up.” He shrugged.

We played cards for a while after that and it was about midnight when he went home.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jean!” he cheered with a cute smile.

“Yeah. Hey, I’m driving to school tomorrow. Want a ride?”

“Sure! I’ll text you my address!”

And then he got in his beat up truck and went home. I felt something I hadn’t felt since the first time I saw Mikasa. It was a really weird feeling, especially for someone I just met, but it made me feel happy and I went to bed with a smile for the first time in months.

Not before realizing that Armin had texted me, though.


	3. The School Year's First Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi's under too much pressure and can't handle everything. Not to mention that he's still bitter about his breakup with Erwin and he worries that Eren might break up with him next. He decides to make sure Eren can't break up with him.
> 
> So this is basically all Ereri issues, but the next chapter won't focus on them at all I promise.

                Eren’s POV

                My senior year was off to an awful start. I spent the first week of school jealously watching Sasha and Mikasa at my house, avoiding Armin like the plague, and desperately trying anything to contact Levi. It was all hopeless, though. Armin always found me and Levi never answered. Everyone seemed really happy. Hell, things were looking up even for Jean, which makes me a huge loser. Everyone was getting together, getting great grades, or a combination of both—cough cough Armin.

Then there was Levi, who was blatantly ignoring me. I knew he was doing all right, though, because I stalked all his internet activity to see if he would say anything about me or if he would remove our relationship status. He never did, though. He would just post pictures of him and Hanji doing stupid things on campus or he would make a status about how he really wanted a pack of cigarettes but he was trying to quit. That was a surprise, to be honest. I’ve known Levi for a little bit more than four years now and we’ve been together for the majority of that time. I met him and he smoked and he still smoked today, but suddenly he wants to drop a habit he’s had forever? It didn’t make sense.

So now it was a Friday night and everyone had plans except for me. I usually always had plans on the weekends whether it was with Levi or Armin. But tonight I was lying on my stomach, going through Levi’s blog. His blog was probably my favorite thing.

Levi’s blog was titled “The Beautiful Tragedy of a Stolid Rainbow Boy”. It was a rather interesting blog, too. He’d post pictures, fight for gay rights, share his hardships and his happiness. I was on the blog a lot and from what he told me, people took a liking to me. He often posted silly pictures of us or said loving things about me. That’s how Levi got out most of his emotions; on his blog. If you looked at his blog, you would never think that Levi could run it.

I got to where I had last seen his posts and scrolled back up, refreshing the page. There were three new posts, which was odd since Levi didn’t post more than twice a day; once in the morning and once at night, he once told me. Levi was just full of surprises it seemed. The top post was a picture of us. We were lying in Levi’s bed, cuddled close. His head was on my shoulder and one arm was around my chest. I had both my arms around him. It was obvious by the angle that Levi took the picture with his phone. We took it in the beginning of summer. I still remember it all.

_Levi was panting slightly. His cheeks were rosy red and he was staring at the ceiling. I watched the rise and fall of his chest with a small smile. All I could think about was that he was mine and that we had just had the best sex of my life._

_He turned his head to me, staring for a moment before speaking up. “Oi, Eren, don’t just stare.” There was another pause. I was most definitely staring. “I need a cigarette.”_

_“No!” I whined, pulling him close. I forced his head against my chest and kissed the top of his head._

_He was silent for several moments before shifting to make himself more comfortable. He rolled his eyes as his phone beeped. I handed it to him and he answered the text with a huff. I’m pretty sure it was from Erwin, but I can’t remember exactly. That’s when he got the idea to take a photo, I guess. He asked me to hold him tighter and we snapped a few photos. The first one was serious and then the rest were silly and full of kisses._

Looking at the photo on his blog after we hadn’t spoken for four days made me feel sick. It reminded me just how much I missed him. The caption said, “For the anon that requested more pictures of my boyfriend and I. In exactly two months, it will be our three year anniversary. I want to do something big, but then again, at this moment in time, I’m just hoping we can make it to three years. Sometimes love comes and sometimes it goes. They say if you love something, set it free and if it loves you back, it will return, yet here I am, too afraid to return. I fear a larger fight or even worse, the words “we’re done” spat at me like they were once years ago. I was looking through my phone earlier and came across several pictures like the one above. This one is by far my favorite because of the way we’re looking at each other. Back then, our love was so strong it was nearly tangible. Now, though, I’m just not sure I can feel it anymore.”

My sick feeling only grew worse after reading that. Levi was suddenly so unsure that I loved him? Wasn’t I the one who was constantly calling and texting him?! He wouldn’t even answer his damn phone! I was so angry and sad and just completely lost on what to do. So, I did the only thing I could do. I marched downstairs, announced to Mikasa and Sasha that I was taking the car for the night, and then drove to Levi’s apartment.

I pounded on the door, anger fueling my actions. “Levi!” I cried out after a few moments. “Levi, answer the door!”

I heard some stumbling and then there he was, hair ruffled and in tight black boxers and a long sleeved shirt that looked like he had worn it for days. Upon closer examination, I realized that that use to be _my_ shirt. I gave it to him one summer night while he was shivering at my side. I just slipped my shirt off and gave it to him. He always did get cold rather easily.

 “Shut up, brat. You’ll wake my neighbors.”

I relaxed at the nickname and launched forward, pulling him into a hug as he struggled to close the door. God forbid his neighbors find out that he was gay—even though it was obvious.

                He didn’t hug back at first, so I hugged tighter. That got a reaction out of him. “Eren, please, calm down.”

                “You wouldn’t answer my calls, my texts, my emails, tumblr messages, facebook messages, tweets, or snapchats!” I complained, pulling away to look at him. “Why?”

                He sighed and went to sit down, scrubbing a hand down his face. “You stress me out,” he finally answered after a few moments of silence.

                I sat down next to him, looking down. “I’m sorry, but I can’t fix that when you don’t tell me these things, Levi! How could you just ignore me like that? That was a dick move and you should be ashamed of yourself.”

                “Eren, shut up,” he interrupted, but I went on regardless.

                “No! I’m not going to just shut up after days of you ignoring me! And what you put on Tumblr was awful! Just awful! You made me want to cry, Levi! I don’t want this to be the end of us!”

                “Eren, I mean it, shut up!”

                “How could you be so selfish, huh? How could you just throw me aside like trash? After all we’ve been through!”

                “EREN!”

                I was breathing hard by now from my little rant. I was talking so much that I didn’t even notice the way Levi was gripping at his chest and looking down, trying desperately to control his breathing. I felt tears prickle my eyes as I timidly reached out to touch him. “Levi? I-I’m sorry! I can be quiet now.”

                He didn’t speak. Instead, he stood up and went to the kitchen. I followed him and watched as he shuffled around his pill drawer before pulling out a bottle of lorazepam and swallowing it dry. He went to the sink and splashed water on his face. After about ten minutes, he looked up at me.

                “When I tell you to shut up, fucking shut up.”

                “I—“ I didn’t have a response to that. I really should have just listened to him, but I ran my mouth like the idiot I am. I was still upset, though. “I just want to know why you haven’t been answering me and why you don’t think we’re as deeply in love as we were this summer.”

                He looked away, running a hand through his mess of hair. He blew his bangs out of his eyes, frowning slightly as if realizing he needed a trim. “The other night,” he began and I felt my heart sink. “I kind of freaked out at your house. I mean ever since I was thirteen I’ve had anxiety issues. You know that, but only recently had I started to have attacks on a regular basis. I had an attack in your bathroom and it scared the hell out of me because I’ve never had an attack around you before. So, after I left your house, I drove to Hanji’s place and she told me to tell my counselor. That night I made an appointment and went to see her in the morning. She said, and I quote, “Ignore your feisty boyfriend for a little bit until you can get this under control”, so that’s what I’m doing; except I can’t get it under control.”

                “Baby, I can help you,” I pleaded. “I know I’ve probably caused a lot of your problems lately, but I want to be there for you. I’m sorry I yelled at you.” There was an awkward silence, so I continued. “I want to be there for you, not be ignored until you feel up to talking to me.”

                “Eren, I really appreciate your desire to help, but it’s not going to happen. You’re so high strung and stubborn that I just can’t take this right now.” He sighed, looking away as if the sight of me was even too much to handle. “I think that maybe—“ Levi was cut off by a knock on his door. “Shit,” he hissed. His entire aura changed. He went from a slightly annoyed informative face to absolute irritation. It kind of made me wonder why the knock at the door made him like that.

                He made his way over to answer the door and when he threw it open, crossing his arms, I knew why his mood was suddenly so pissy. Erwin Smith stood on the other side. For a moment I accepted it, but then things ran through my mind. Why was Levi angry before answering the door? How could he have possibly known that it would be Erwin on the other side?

                “Oh, Eren, Levi didn’t tell me you would be over or even that it was a possibility,” he commented once he stepped in, noticing me standing there.

                “What? Levi is my _boyfriend_. Why would it be so hard to grasp that I’m here, sitting in his living room? It’s not exactly an uncommon thing.” I crossed my arms. I really hated Erwin. He was just so handsome and perfect and tall and nice but also secretly rude in his own way. What a jerk.

                “Oh, well, I assumed you two were done, I guess. Why else would Levi call me?” He gave a soft smile and I wanted to wring his throat.

                “Levi called you?!” Last I knew, Levi deleted Erwin’s number long ago. “Care to explain, Levi?”

                “I can’t deal with this,” he sighed, walking off into the kitchen.

                “Hey! You can’t just walk away from your problems!” I followed him into the kitchen and put a hand on his shoulder, spinning him to face me. “Why did you..?!” I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I didn’t want to yell at him and set him off again. “Why did you call Erwin?” I asked softly.

                He stared at me in surprise, blinking for a moment before he cleared his throat. “Hanji and I were talking earlier about my uh,” he paused, looking over at Erwin before pulling me closer so he couldn’t hear. “My problems. She said that since Erwin and I didn’t end all that well that I should invite him over and try to make amends, but I didn’t expect you to just show up.”

                I glared back at Erwin before grabbing Levi’s hand. “Well, I’m glad I did show up. I don’t want you alone with that asshole.” Maybe I said that a bit too loudly. Okay so maybe I meant to say it loud enough for him to hear. He’s an asshole.

                “Go home, Eren. I’ll come see you when we’re done talking.” He pulled his hand away and rubbed it on his leg. He noticed then what exactly he was wearing and with an ex in the room. “Fuck,” he groaned.

                “I am most definitely staying. I’m sorry for being stubborn or whatever, but I’m not leaving you alone with the man who ripped your heart out of you ch—“

                “Oi! Shut your mouth, shitty brat!” He huffed and went to his room to change.

                I was left sitting on Levi’s couch, glaring at Erwin lounging in the recliner. He raised an eyebrow, but I didn’t comment back to him. He shifted slightly and I narrowed my eyes. Hopefully I was making him more uncomfortable than he let on.

                Levi returned moments later wearing one of my favorite outfits on him; black, fitted jeans, red button down, and a silver studded belt. He sat next to me, throwing an arm behind me and his left leg over his left. I tried not to make it so obvious that I scooted closer, but that was hard to do in the silent room when both pairs of eyes were on me. Erwin turned his head to Levi.

                “Well, Levi, would you care to explain the reason for this meeting? I was under the impression that…” His sentence trailed off as his eyes fell back on me. “Well, I thought you wanted me back.”

                “Once an ex, always an ex,” he spat. “You ended us and that was that.”

                The blonde shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat. “Then, I would really appreciate it if you got to the point. I have a meeting soon.”

                “Hanji thinks it would be good for me to get some closure. Our break up was not exactly a clean one and she thinks it would benefit me to clean up this mess.”

                “What? I think we had a very clean break up,” he countered. “This is ridiculous. Why dwell on the past?”

                Levi tightened his hands into fists. I knew that couldn’t have been good. “Of course you do. You’re the one who broke up with me. Did it ever occur to you that I was in love with you, though? That maybe you broke apart my entire world when you said, “Levi, I just can’t do this anymore. I’m in love with Petra. I’ve lost feelings for you.” That killed me.”

                Erwin swallowed hard and he looked down at his hands. “That was high school, though. Don’t you know that high school love doesn’t last?” He looked at me, then at Levi again.

                “Hey what are you implying!?” I yelled, jumping up from my seat. I would beat the shit out of Erwin if I didn’t know that he could probably kick my ass and that Levi would kick my ass afterwards.

                “Calm down, Eren. You didn’t really expect to be with Levi forever, did you? You two aren’t going to get married and start a family. There’s no way. Let’s face the truth. You two really aren’t good for each other.” He folded his hands and lifted his head. That confidence was back and he didn’t seem like he cared about my horrified face or the fact that Levi wasn’t making eye contact. “Eventually you two are going to break up for good. You can’t avoid break ups, Levi. I’m sorry for what I did to you, but I wasn’t going to stay with someone I didn’t find attractive anymore.”

                “Then get out,” he replied calmly, emotionlessly.

                “I hope someday you can forgive me and we can be friends again.” He stood up and left.

                After he went, I laid my head on Levi’s shoulder, lacing our fingers. “Don’t listen to him. I’m not going to just leave you! I wouldn’t do that. He doesn’t know anything. High school love can last. I mean look how long we’ve been together!”

                Levi pushed me away. “I don’t know. What are the odds that we could end up together forever? They’re slim. I’m your first real boyfriend, Eren. No one ends up with their first.”

                “Hey! Jon Bon Jovi ended up with his high school girlfriend!”

                “Aren’t they divorced?”

                “I don’t think they are. Come on, Levi. It’s possible if you really love the person and I really love you.” I pulled him into my arms and he patted my back awkwardly.

                “I think we should take a break.”

                “What?!” I pushed him away and looked at him.

                “Just a little break. Two weeks? I just need some time to think.”


	4. Levi's Missing

                Erwin’s POV

                When I got a call from Levi on the way home, I was a little more than surprised. He sounded like he was seconds from doing something that might ruin his life. So when his usually harsh, bitter voice was soft and shaky, I slammed on the breaks and turned around immediately. A soft “Please, Erwin, I need you” was only an extra push for me to go faster.

                I don’t know what I was expecting after I was just rejected in front of his boyfriend. All I knew was that I most likely caused trouble between them and now Levi was at his breaking point. It only made sense that he would call me instead of Hanji or someone else. As far as I’m aware, I’m the only person to ever see Levi at his breaking point, to hold him while he shattered in a thousand pieces, and helped him while he put himself together.

                When I ran back up the steps and knocked on the door, there was no answer. I was already so worried about him. It didn’t matter that I messed up years ago. It didn’t matter that I broke his heart. It didn’t matter that we drifted away over the years. I still loved and cared for him and every second that went by that the door went without answer made me more and more scared of what I would find on the other side.

                When it became apparent that there would be no short ravenette with a grouchy attitude answering, I tried the knob and it was surprisingly left unlock. Levi never left the door unlocked because of trauma in his childhood teaching him to lock everything always. I had every right to be so worried because when I stepped into the bathroom, what I found was enough to make my heart speed up and bring tears to my eyes.

                Mikasa’s POV

                To say that everyone was happy would be the biggest lie I’ve ever told. From an outsider’s point of view, we looked like happy seniors ready to take on the world with our significant other’s at our side and happy smiles. But it was all a show. Eren was depressed beyond belief. If Levi still went to our school, I would probably confront him for ripping out my brother’s heart. Eren would never forgive me, though. “It’s only for two weeks!” he would shout when I tried talking to him about it. Idiot. It wasn’t just Eren, though. No. Armin was upset, too. Lately he had been worrying himself mad over Annie and his grades and about the school in general since he was school counsel president. Then there was Sasha who was struggling with the idea of telling her parents that her and I were more than just best friends. She came to me crying the other night because she told her older brother and now he’s not talking to her. Why is this world so cruel?

                I’m a protector; a fighter. I will do anything necessary to protect those I love and keep them happy. This though… All of this is out of my control and I don’t know what to do. Encouraging Eren to get out there and have a few meaningless flings while he’s on break isn’t helping him. He just sits in his room, listening to sad music, and shutting out the world. Telling Armin not to worry over Annie and his grades doesn’t help, either. It only makes him worry more. He’s frantic and not sleeping. Holding Sasha and telling her that it’s all right and she’s okay doesn’t help. She always has a counter reply ready and ends up making herself feel worse. I would say that the only happy couples right now are Bertoldt and Reiner, then Christa and Ymir, but even that’s a lie. Christa’s been told she can’t contact Ymir anymore so they can only see each other at school. Then Bertoldt has been feeling awful lately because of how flirty and inattentive Reiner’s been. From what Bert tells me, they haven’t been seeing each other much and he’s always at Annie’s house. He swears they’re having a secret fling, but who knows? High school is nothing but rumors and pointless math equations after all.

                At least Jean’s been okay for once. Usually he’s the huge downer, but now that he’s actually developed this huge crush on Marco, he’s been really cheerful and less of an ass. Good for him. Marco’s pretty cool from a guy who doesn’t know much English. Okay, I’m joking. He knows a lot of English, but sometimes he starts speaking a different language and we all stare at him.

                What am I supposed to do, though? I feel like the mother of this little group of weirdos and yet I can’t even perform my motherly duties of protecting my children and making sure they’re okay. How am I supposed to ensure their happiness when I can’t even ensure my own?

                Hanji’s POV

                It had been a week since I had heard from Levi. He wasn’t going to lectures anymore and he wasn’t answering his phone. I texted Eren to see what was up and he told me that Levi and him were taking a break. Sometimes being best friends with Levi meant having to deal with big drama, though there hadn’t been this much drama since high school.

                So I did what any best friend would and I went over to his apartment. Of course, there was no answer so I climbed up the fire escape and broke one of his windows. Not the first time I’ve done that. The last time I did it I found him and Eren having sex, so you know, at least I could be sure that wasn’t going to be the case this time.

                “Levi?” I called out, as I stepped through the broken window and into his perfectly cleaned and organized room. He was going to kill me for getting glass everywhere.

                I made my way into the darkened living room and struggled for a light. When the light flicked on, there was no sign of him. I checked the kitchen. Nothing. I opened the fridge to find spoiled leftover Chinese food and half a bottle of schnapps. That was my first sign that Levi hadn’t been home. He would never leave rotten food in his fridge and he probably wouldn’t leave anything left in that schnapps bottle either. Especially since apple flavored was his favorite.

                I stood up and closed the fridge, looking around again. There it was on the coffee table; Levi’s phone. He wouldn’t leave his phone there. My heart sped up. Where was Levi?! Was he hurt? Kidnapped? Raped? Murdered? There was no sign of a struggle and Levi would put up one hell of a fight.

                I was about to leave when I realized I couldn’t just leave the window broken like that when I had no idea where Levi was. So, I went to the bathroom because he kept all his cleaning supplies in the bathroom closet. I would sweep up all the piece of glass and then duct tape over the hole I made. When I opened the bathroom door, though, I screamed. There was blood and a lot of it. The mirror was shattered.

                I did the only thing I could, I dialed 911.

                Eren’s POV

                Levi’s most recent blog post was that he was seeing someone from his past. That was a week and two days ago. Only five more days, I kept reminding myself. Five more days and we would be back together… I hoped.

                It was unclear, really. He said he needed time to think and he needed two weeks, but did that mean we would be back together at the end of those two weeks? I didn’t know and I bet he didn’t know either.

                I stared at my math homework, groaning. How could I think about solving math problems when I couldn’t even solve my own problems? I wish there was an equation for every problem ever. Well, maybe there was. Levi + Eren = Happiness. Eren – Levi = Sadness. Eren + no Levi contact = Depression. Maybe I was relying on Levi too much for my happiness. I mean, there were other things I liked to do that made me happy besides Levi. No sexual joke intended.

                I had just decided to go to bed when I got a call from Hanji. I really didn’t feel like talking to her, but what if it was something important? I picked up the phone and stared at the silly picture of her, Levi, and I that popped up when she called. I must have gotten lost in the memories because suddenly the picture disappeared and my phone said, “1 Missed Call From Hanji”. I shrugged. Oh well. If it was that important, she’d call back or leave a voice mail.

                I went downstairs to go talk to Mikasa, leaving my phone on the bed. She was in the kitchen, making herself a sandwich. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her. “I love you,” I cooed.

                Her knife stilled and her body relaxed. “What’s wrong, Eren? You wouldn’t just say something like that for no reason.”

                “I’m sorry that my sadness has been wearing you down lately. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.” I let go and she turned to face me, speechless. “Mikasa, you’re the—“ I was cut off as her phone rang.

                She fished it out of her pocket, looking up at me with a weird expression. “It’s Hanji,” she said before answering. “Yeah?... He’s right here.” She handed me the phone. “It’s for you. Pick up your phone next time, okay? She sounds pissed.”

                I swallowed thickly and took the phone, putting it to my ear. “Uh… Hello?”

                “Eren! Why didn’t you answer your phone?! This is important!”

                “Whoa, Hanji, calm down. I’m sorry! I was just… I’m sorry I didn’t answer. Are you okay?” I asked.

                “I’m fine, but something’s happened. Have you heard from Levi lately?”

                My heart dropped into my stomach. “N-No… What happened?”

                I bet my face was pale because Mikasa had a worried expression and put a hand on my shoulder, mouthing a soft “are you okay?”

                “I broke into his apartment because he wasn’t answering his phone and I found a rather gruesome scene and no Levi. I don’t know where he is and the scene I found at his place only makes this worse!” She was panicking. I could hear it in her voice.

                “Did you call the cops? What kind of scene?”

                “Of course. That’s the first thing I did and now I’m at the station awaiting questioning because I broke in, so I’m suspect number one. I found a broken mirror and there was blood everywhere, Eren. I don’t know whose blood it was, but it was scary!”

                “Have you asked Erwin? I’m pretty sure they’ve been seeing each other. Or maybe Petra. I don’t know. He’s been seeing someone from his past.”

                She was silent for a moment. “Eren, I’m gonna call you back. I think I know where Levi is.”

                “Wait, Hanji, where is he!? Don’t just hang up on me!” But then I heard the dial tone. I hung up and handed the phone to Mikasa.

                “What’s going on?”

                “Hanji says Levi’s missing and she found a scary scene in his apartment. I don’t know what that means, but apparently I’m not the only one who hasn’t been able to contact him.”

                “Maybe he went on a little vacation or something. He did say he needed time to think, remember?"

                Mikasa’s optimism was only making things harder on me. “He didn’t go away, Mikasa! If he did, then why would he be ignoring Hanji? Why would she have found that scene?”

                “What kind of scene?”

                “Blood and a broken mirror…. A lot of blood from what she said.”

                “Oh,” was all she could get out. There was an uneasy silence.

                “I’m scared, Mikasa. Where the hell is he?”

                She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it again and shook her head. “I don’t know, Eren, but you shouldn’t worry about this now. We have school tomorrow and you need sleep.”

                “How am I supposed to sleep knowing my boyfriend is in danger?” I asked, voice straining. “I’m gonna go look for him.”

                “Hey! First off, he’s not your boyfriend right now and secondly, I forbid you to go out and look for him.”

                “Fuck off, Mikasa. Just because dad left you in charge doesn’t mean you’re the boss.” I grabbed the car keys and headed outside.

                Mikasa was right behind me as expected. “I’m coming with. You can’t drive when you’re so distracted.” She grabbed the keys from me and got in the driver’s seat. “Get in, loser.”

                I did as she said.

                “So where are we going?”

                “Erwin Smith’s house.”

                “That’s great. Where does he live?”

                “Shit. I don’t know!” I got out my phone and dialed Mike’s number. “But I know of someone who will.”

                Levi’s POV

                Everything was cold. I literally meant everything. My heart. The room. I couldn’t feel my anything. It surprised me that I could move.

                When my vision cleared up, I looked around. White walls. While tile. White sheets. Was I in a mental hospital?

                There was something that wasn’t completely white, though. There was a little wooden chair with a sleeping man in it. Blonde hair. Pointed eyebrows. Strong jawline. If I was in a mental hospital, I don’t think I would be in a room by myself with Erwin Smith.

                “Oi, Erwin!” I demanded, shocking him from his slumber.

                “Levi, you’re awake,” he said, as if it was the biggest shock in the world.

                “No. You’re just imagining all this. Where am I?”

                He rolled his eyes at my sarcasm, standing up to hover over me. “Isn’t it obvious? You’re in the hospital.”

                “But why?”

                “Don’t you remember anything?”

                “Would I ask why if I remember anything, idiot?” I growled, starting to get annoyed by his presence. And it was just _him_ , too. Where was everyone else? Where was Hanji or Eren? I expected them at least to be by my side when I woke. Not exactly Erwin.

                He kneeled by my bed, stroking my hair with his thumb. “Calm down,” he said in his deep, intoxicating voice. It was a voice that could even the rowdiest babies to sleep. “If you get too worked up, you could pop a stitch or have another panic attack and right now you need to rest.” He leaned forward, brushing his lips against my forehead.

                Okay I was obviously missing something huge if Erwin had the balls to comfort me like I was his lover. He was right, though. I could feel the pressure inside of me and busting my stitches didn’t sound too pleasant. “Please, Erwin,” I sighed. “What happened? What did I _do?_ ”

                He shook his head. “I’ll tell you when you’re more rested. You called me and said you needed me so I came as soon as I could. Do you still need me?”

                What was I supposed to say? Part of me still loved him and no one else cared enough to even bother to see me or be there for me. I didn’t want to be alone in a strange place. “Yes,” I said softly. “I still need you.” What a way to fucking confuse me more than I already was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make this a cliff hanger chapter, like omg where is Levi? But I'm not really sure when the next chapter will be out since I was recently in the hospital myself and may have to go back so I thought, "Nah. Let's not make them wait forever." But yes. I hope that was dramatic enough for you because from here it's only going to get worse.


	5. Self Consciousness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Mikasa finally find out where Levi's been. Hanji gets in some trouble and Erwin contemplates his nobility. Sasha starts to question her relationship and Jean and Marco try to help.

Mikasa’s POV  
I had to be adopted by a broken family with a son who was just too passionate for his own good. Eren was too much sometimes. I love him so much and I’d do anything for him, but sometimes I want to lock him up so he can think about what he’s doing before he blindly rushes into things. He’d never let me, though. So I just go along with him because if I don’t, the idiot will probably get himself killed.  
So it’s up to me to make sure that Eren survives tonight because things aren’t really looking good. It physically pains me to see him go through this bullshit. I mean, he was only seventeen years old and didn’t deserve any of this. Well… Maybe it was karma. Eren was pretty reckless and mouthy when upset.  
We ended up going over to Mike’s place and after explaining the situation, he promised us he’d take us to Erwin’s house. So we rode with him there while he talked about how Hanji was currently in police custody. Well, not technically, but she was at the station. The only evidence they had against her was the fact that she broke in and there were her fingerprints everywhere. To me, that sounded like substantial evidence, but from what Mike said, they couldn’t just keep her there without a judge’s approval. It make me wonder why she even stayed there in the first place. If I had just broke into my best friend’s apartment and found a gruesome scene, I wouldn’t stay in police custody willingly. I’d go and try to find his ass before he ended up in a ditch somewhere.  
When we finally arrived at Erwin’s house, Mike went up to knock on the door. It was a little chilly out and my thin hoodie really wasn’t keeping me warm, but I couldn’t show any weakness. Not with Eren so close to losing himself. I had to be there for him. That meant picking up the pieces when he probably found Erwin and Levi doing things at Erwin’s house. It’s not like I hate Levi. I just never saw their relationship as a lasting one. In fact, I can’t see any romantic relationship as a lasting one. Not mine. Not Eren’s. Not Armin’s. No one’s. It’s just not something I think can really last. We’re all so young. How am I supposed to be with one person forever? I love Sasha, don’t get me wrong. I just know that this world is cruel and always takes the most beautiful things and turns them into a disaster.  
“No answer,” Mike sighed and looked down at his phone. I wondered what that meant. I didn’t see Erwin’s car so maybe he was out and Eren was wrong about Erwin knowing where Levi was. Maybe Levi and Erwin were out together, but that wouldn’t explain what Hanji found.  
Eren took a deep breath and walked up to the door, banging on it. “Erwin Smith! Listen, you bastard, open up the fucking door!” he screamed. The anger in his eyes was intense. I put a hand on his shoulder.   
“Eren, stop. The neighbors will hear and we’ll get the cops called on us. Let’s just come back tomorrow morning, okay?” I suggested, hoping to God that I could get Eren to stop and just go home. He needed rest and time to just calm down. I was actually afraid he might try and murder Erwin. Not that he was any match, of course, but it was still a possibility with how angry he was.  
“I’m not leaving until I either confront Erwin or find Levi,” he spat and sat down on the porch. “I’ll wait all night if I have to.”  
I shivered and sat next to him. “Fine. Mike, you can go home. Sorry for bothering you.”  
He shook his head. “Nah. It wouldn’t be right to leave two high schoolers on Erwin’s porch. Besides, if I go home, I’m just going to drink until I puke and pass out in the bathroom.”  
Eren made a horrified face. Is this what it meant to grow up? If so, I never wanted high school to end. “Why would you do that?”  
He just shrugged and leaned against Erwin’s door. “I’m worried.”  
Mike was a man of few words, but he didn’t need to say anymore. I’m sure he was worried. Who wouldn’t be? His girlfriend was at the police station, his two best friends were missing, and he couldn’t contact any of them. I knew that because I say him send countless text messages. I wondered what really went on in Mike’s head. He probably felt as helpless as I currently did.  
Is it so much to wish for my closest friends to find happiness? Of course it was. After all, this world is cruel.  
Hanji’s POV  
This was bad. My stomach hurt and all I wanted to do was go home and lay down for a while. But another part of me wanted to find out what happened. The curiosity burned within and my inner scientist came out. Not to mention I had lectures to attend tomorrow. I hated attending those things without Levi, but I didn’t really have a choice at this point.  
For now, though, I need the police to spare me of suspicion. The last thing I needed was to be wrongfully arrested on the murder of my best friend. There was no body, though, and anyone could tell there was a lot of blood, but not enough lost to kill someone. I wish I could just find him, though. I wish I could shake him and ask him what happened and then we’d hug and I’d hit him for scaring me and he’d hit me for hitting him and we’d fall back on the couch laughing and hitting each other.  
That was probably out of the question, though. The cops seemed pretty certain I killed him and hid the body, but they sure were stupid cops. If I killed him and hide the body, why wasn’t there a blood trail? Why would I even call them in the first place? To look innocent, sure, but I’m a normal human being. If I had just killed someone, especially Levi, I think I’d be a sobbing mess.  
I hate hurting anyone or anything, whether that’s a human being or a small insect. It makes me feel awful and monstrous. It’s a feeling I’ll never get use to. I once ran over a cat and cried until I made it to my destination.  
But what if I did kill him? I’ve seen those scary, psychological movies where the girl thinks she’s innocent and helps the cops all she can, but then it turns out that she was the murderer all along.   
I look down on my phone and noticed all the missed calls and texts from Mike. Poor Mike. He must have been so worried. Can I even make any more calls? I haven’t talked to anyone in an hour and there isn’t currently an officer of any type interviewing me. Plus they left me with my cell phone. They must be really tired cops.  
Erwin’s POV  
It was extremely difficult to convince the doctor to let me take Levi home, but I made it happen. The doctor had said he was a danger to himself and that I should keep a watchful eye on him. He was wrong, though. Levi wasn’t a danger to himself. Well, not physically, anyways. Sure, something had happened. He’d been hurt, but none of this was his fault. It’s not like he hated himself so much that he’d rather slit his own throat and let the blood gush than live another day in this miserable life. At least, I’m almost positive that’s not what he thought. On the outside, I could completely understand how anyone would think Levi was suicidal and depressed. It’s because he was depressed and often those two things went together. He was not suicidal, though. No way. Not my Levi.  
I know he had been going through some stuff. He completely shut everyone out from what I gathered. Levi was strong, though. He’d gone through a lot. He came to a new country, knowing little English and rose above it all. He made friends. He learned the language. He survived high school. His best friends back home died and he was still here. His father was shit. His mother was insane. He was here, though. He was okay. He had to be.   
No one knew Levi quite like me. I still don’t really know what happened to him, just that it was self-inflicted. I know it was an accident, though. It had to be. Levi had been through so much. It was ridiculous to think he’d hurt himself over some stupid boy four years younger than him. Not to mention this boy wasn’t the best for him, anyways. Levi needed to grow up and Eren was dragging him down. He was the chains holding him under water, but Levi had developed gills and learned to deal with it because the shine on those chains was captivating. His gills were weak, though, and little by little, he was drowning anyways. He needed to return to the surface to get some air before diving back down, but he was stuck. There was no hope for him to return to the surface without cutting off his feet. Only then would he be able to rise again.  
I don’t hate Eren. Not even slightly. He has greatness to him. I can see that and so can Levi. He’s passionate and determined. When his mind is set on something, he goes out and does it. I admire that. That’s something a lot of people lack. But it doesn’t excuse how impulsive and angry he is. I swear he’s going to die of a hemorrhage one day. Sometimes when he’s yelling, I think the veins on his neck might pop out.  
Anyways, when I pulled into my driveway, there was already two other vehicles out front and three people on my porch. It was hard to tell who other than Mike in the dark. It was obviously Mike because of his truck. I glanced over at the sleeping Levi in the passenger seat and decided to leave him for now. I got out of my car and locked the doors. As I got closer, I realized it was Eren and Mikasa. Fuck.   
“Hey, Erwin, where’s your phone?” Mike asked. He stood up and approached me first.   
“It’s dead. I’ve been out for a while.” I glanced down at the other two. They had stood by now. Eren was shaking, probably from anger, and was clenching his fists. Mikasa stood beside him calmly, hand lingering over his arm. It looked like she was ready to pull him back in case he lost his temper.  
“Where have you been? Do you know where Levi is!?” Eren demanded. His expression seemed to soften slightly when he mentioned Levi.  
What was I supposed to do? It wouldn’t be very effective to lie to him, but I was so tired. I didn’t want to start anything. With a sigh, I ran a hand through my hair. “Yeah. He’s in my car right now. He’s asleep so please don’t wake him.”  
“Where’s he been? Everyone’s worried! Hanji went looking for him and she broke into his apartment to find blood and broken glass in his bathroom. She called the cops and now she’s down at the station, being interviewed.” Eren had taken a step closer as he spoke and that made Mikasa grab his arm.  
“Eren, calm down,” she said to him.  
“He had a little accident and had to go to the hospital. He’s fine now. Just needs some rest. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get into my home. You’re welcome to come inside.” They moved and I opened the door with my key to let them in. Mike went with me to get Levi from the car as the other two went inside.  
I carried Levi to my bed and tucked him in. The medicine the doctor had given him seemed to work rather well. I was glad he was sleeping peacefully. I just hoped that he wouldn’t be woken up by an obnoxiously loud teenage boy.  
I met up with the other three in the living room and sat down. I was ready for Eren to yell at me and try to hurt me. He must hate me. I knew he hated me. It was in his eyes.  
“I will answer any questions you have. I just ask that you try to keep your voice down. It was hard to get Levi to sleep and it would be a real shame if he was woken over some silly yelling,” I told them. Mike looked like he couldn’t be less interested. He just stared down at his phone. I bet he was waiting for Hanji to contact him.  
“What exactly happened to Levi?” Eren began. He actually managed to keep his voice quiet and calm. I was proud of him.  
“Well, Levi called me after I had left. He wasn’t doing too well and he spent some time in the hospital. A long time, actually. I was just able to bring him home tonight. He had shattered a mirror. I don’t know what happened exactly but the shards cut him up terribly. He was a bleeding mess when I found him. I-“   
That angry teenage cut me off. “Why didn’t you call me?! Why didn’t you call the cops?!” He was to his feet again and he came closer to me. “Why didn’t you tell anyone!? I can understand why you wouldn’t tell me, but Levi’s more than just your friend. He’s Mike’s and Hanji’s and Petra’s and everyone’s! What was the point in keeping this a secret?!”  
I just sighed and shook my head. “I think you three should leave. Go home and get some rest before you cause more trouble than you already have.”  
Eren opened his mouth to speak again, but Mikasa beat him to it. “Thank you, Erwin,” she said softly. “Thank you for keeping him safe and thank you for inviting us in. It’s late and I think you’re right. We’ll leave.” She grabbed Eren and dragged him out.  
Mike stayed on the couch for a few minutes after they were gone. He stood up and looked at me with sad eyes. “I expected more from you, Erwin. I really did. You had no right.” With that said, he shoved his hands in his pockets and left.  
I had no idea what just happened. I had no right? I was being selfish? Me?! I’m the one who scooped up his torn up body and drove him to the hospital! My car still had his blood stained on my backseats! But, no, I was the selfish one.   
The thing is, I couldn’t help but think maybe I was. After all, Eren was right. I hadn’t contacted anyone. In fact, I even led Levi to believe that the others didn’t want to see him. It didn’t matter, though. All that mattered right now was Levi getting better. It was going to be a long night.  
Sasha’s POV  
Whenever Mikasa was absent from school, she’d tell me. Whether it was a call in the early morning or a text, she would tell me somehow. Sometimes Eren would tell me for her or even Armin, but today was different. Neither Mikasa nor Eren came to school and Armin was completely oblivious.  
I felt really alone, but most of all, I was really worried. Connie tried his best to cheer me up, but it was no use. I wasn’t even hungry! I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. My stomach was upset for what seemed like no reason.  
“Come on, Sasha, you have to eat something!” Connie complained when I had shoved my lunch tray away. I just rolled my eyes with a sigh and scanned the lunchroom. Armin was sitting at between Annie and Reiner. It was actually a really funny sight. Armin is really dainty and tiny, then there’s Reiner, who looks like he could snap Armin in half by blowing on him. Usually, I’d make a joke, but I wasn’t really feeling it today.  
“I think I’m going to go to the library for a little bit.” I stood up and threw away my trash. After returning to the lunch table to collect my stuff, I flashed a smile at Connie. “I’ll see you next hour!”  
He nodded and added, “Yeah! And don’t forget, we have a video game tournament tonight!”  
“Oh yeah. Right. Can’t wait!” I slung a strap over my shoulder. For now, I’d just go read a comic book and try to get my mind off of things. Spending some time with Connie at his house would be a good distraction, too, though, by then, I would assume Mikasa would at least text me by then.  
When I got to the library, it was practically dead aside from a few kids who were screwing around on the computer and one in the corner, reading. I went to the back to where the comic books were and was greeted by a rather nauseating sight.  
I grabbed a book and hit Jean upside his head. “This is a library! Not your bedroom.”  
He was so red in the face, he couldn’t even reply. Marco, who was giggling, could, though. “Ah, sorry, Sasha! We thought this place was abandoned.”   
I just shook my head and sat down in between them. “Well, now it’s not. Mind if I crash your mouth date?”  
They both shook their heads. “Where’s Mikasa?” Jean asked. Leave it to him to bring that up. He used to be completely obsessed with Mikasa. Everyone assumed I never noticed, but oh, man, I really did! It was hard to miss with his lingering eyes and the way he’d blush when talking to her. I’m really glad he got over it.  
“Dunno. At home, I hope.” Another shrug, another sigh. Man, I was starting to act like Annie on her “expressive” days.   
“We could go see after school?” Marco suggested. “I mean, I can give her my Physics notes since she missed today. I’m sure she’d appreciate that.”  
I nodded. “I don’t know.” I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my cheek against them so I could look at Marco. “I don’t think she really wants to see me. If she did, she would have told me she wasn’t coming to school.”  
Jean suddenly touched my shoulder and it made me jump a little bit. “Well, maybe something came up. I doubt there’s a reason she wouldn’t want to see you. I mean, you guys are really in love right?”  
“Sometimes, I don’t really know.” I lifted my head and leaned back against the wall. “She’s always so distant and lately, I can’t figure out what’s on her mind. On the outside, we look like the perfect couple, but it’s all a sham. We’re not perfect and nothing’s been the same lately. I’m scared she’s going to break up with me soon. Like, maybe she’s distancing herself from me and as soon as she’s far enough away, she’ll break it off and it won’t even hurt.” Were those tears forming? Oh come on, Sasha! She’s just some girl….Some girl that has you completely and utterly wrapped around her finger. “And even if I wanted to distance myself back, I can’t. I’m just not that kind of person and I don’t know what to do.”  
Jean’s hand was gone from my shoulder and I could tell he had no idea what to say or do. Neither did Marco. Of course not! I just destroyed their little fantasy. Everyone paints Mikasa and I as the perfect couple with no fights and no drama because we’ve been together for so long. Well, every relationship has its secrets and ours is no different.   
“Have you told her any of this?” asked the dark-skinned boy with freckles.  
“Of course not! Talking to her when she’s like this is impossible. I’ll just get stupid responses that sounds like practiced lies.” I sighed again and buried my head in my knees. Could this be the end for us? It felt like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in freaking forever! Ah, so I've been in and out of the hospital but I'm doing better now! Yay! I hope to post more frequently now! Sorry for the wait. I seriously feel so awful. Please tell me what you think! Your comments seriously motivate me.


	6. Those Whom Don't Often Speak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We hear from some characters we haven't heard from lately and they tell us a little bit about what's going on in their minds.

Sasha’s POV

                I was just sitting there, staring at the war on Connie’s TV, mindlessly playing along when I got the notification. I was so wrapped up in the game that I honestly didn’t even hear it. It was when Connie and I stole victory from the aliens that he nudged me and asked if I was going to check my phone. The little question brought all my fears and anxiety to the forefront and I shook my head.

                “Why check when I know nothing’s there?” I asked, giving a solemn face.

                He rolled his eyes and grabbed my phone. “Because I heard your message tone go off.” Sliding the lock screen up and typing in my password, he went to the messages and opened it up. It was probably a far more intense moment for me than it should have been, but we all know I get a little kooky when I’m distressed.

                “Well? What does it say? Who is it from?” I asked, eyes wide and hands viciously shaking.

                “Uhm,” he stalled, looking up from the phone with a little frown. “It’s from Eren.”

                My hopes dropped. So Mikasa wasn’t going to contact me after all. Eren was still a good sign though, right? He’d probably know where she was and what was going on. “And?”

                “And he says “Hey, Sasha, I wanted to know if you could get me today’s notes from French since I was gone.” Connie handed me my phone back and I just stared at it, feeling utterly broken. It didn’t take the short teen long to understand how I felt and he was at my side, an arm around my shoulders. “Hey, don’t get so down about this. I’m sure she’ll text you! She’s probably just busy! We still don’t even know why they were gone today. Something really bad could have happened and she just doesn’t want to bring you down!” I know he was trying his hardest to comfort me, but it wasn’t working.

                I didn’t bother with a reply. I just rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I was not going to cry. Nope. Not going to happen. Oh fuck. Here comes the tears. With a gross, high pitched noise, I turned my head into Connie’s chest and practically drown him in my tears. The poor thing had no idea how to handle the situation. I’ve only cried in front of Connie twice. The first time was when we were both little and I broke my arm. The second time was when Jean Kirstein broke up with me. The first time, Connie called my dad and then we went to the hospital. The second time, he made jokes about how ugly Jean was and I felt a lot better. This was different, though.

                Connie, pulled out my hair tie and that made me freeze. “If you want to cry, you should do it in comfort. Let your hair down, take off your bra, and wear clothes too big for you. Wrap yourself in blankets and then just cry.”

                I pulled back to look at him, cheeks stained with tears and eyes puffy. “What?”

                “Crying is uncomfortable, and usually girls are always uncomfortable, so two uncomfortable things aren’t good. So if you’re going to cry, you have to give up the other uncomfortable part,” he tried explaining. “It’s so when you’re done crying, you’ll feel super comfortable and can just sleep if you want.”

                That was some pretty good advice, I had to admit. So I did brushed my fingers through my hair and borrowed a pair of his pajamas and by the time I was completely comfortable on Connie’s futon couch, I didn’t feel like crying anymore. I just felt like killing aliens.

                Levi’s POV

                My head was pounding and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was so wrong. When I opened my eyes, I wasn’t in the hospital anymore and that was a huge relief. I was in Erwin Smith’s bed. His room was perfectly clean and the sheets smelled like lavender. I rolled over and shoved my face in a pillow, taking in the scent.

                Wait.

                What the fuck was I doing? Why the fuck am I in Erwin’s bed? Why the fuck does his pillowcase smell so good? And most importantly, where the fuck was that bastard anyways?

                It took a lot of effort, but eventually, I managed to push myself out of bed and walk around, hugging the walls for fear of falling. When I made my way into the living room, I found the blonde curled up on the couch, snoozing away. I wanted to wake him and demand answers, but I still had a soft spot for him and inside, I went to sit down in the recliner. I felt light headed and more than a little confused. I don’t know how long I stared at the wall in silence, but eventually, I heard a groggy, “you’re up”.

                “Yeah and now so are you,” I replied blandly.

                Erwin was quick to his feet. He knelt down in front of me and felt my forehead. “No fever. How are you feeling?” All I could come up with, answer wise, was a shrug. He sighed and stood up, going to the kitchen, and then returning moments later. “Drink this water. If you’re in pain, you should take your medicine. It’s about time anyways.”

                “So you wanna tell me why I’m here?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

                “Well, your apartment is a crime scene, so I can’t exactly take you home.” He pushed the glass of water into my hands and I drank and took my pills without question.

                “Where’s my phone?”

                “I don’t know. Probably your apartment.”

                I groaned and glared up at him. Was he going to offer any more than vague answers? I was starting to get extremely frustrated. “Then let me borrow your phone.”

                “Why? Who are you going to call?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

                “Who else? Hanji. I don’t want to stay here with you anymore and I’d rather stay with her,” I replied, holding my hand out and waiting for him to surrender his phone.

                Instead, he grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips. My heart jumped and my stomach twisted. I snatched my hand away and flicked his nose. He jerked back in surprise. I was going to give him a lecture about consent and tell him that in my current mindset, I couldn’t handle this shit. However, the look on his face made my heart clench and my lips seal.

                “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, lifting his head to look me in the eye now. “I’m so sorry, Levi. That was very wrong of me.” He dug his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. “Are you hungry? I’ll make some breakfast.”

                I shook my head. He nodded and left the room. The room was quiet; eerily so. No ticks of a clock. No voices from a television. No traffic outside. The only thing I could hear was the sound of Erwin tapping his fingers on the dining room table. It was irritating and something inside me just couldn’t take it. The constant tapping was driving me crazy.

                Instead of snapping at him, I typed in Hanji’s number and pressed call. It rang three times and then she answered. She sounded distressed.

                “Erwin you fucking asshole!” she snapped. “Mike told me what you did and thanks to you the cops think I fucking murdered my best friend!”

                I had no idea what to say. Hanji must have been really pissed off because she wasn’t the type to scream cuss words at anyone, especially Erwin. “Hanji, it’s me, it’s Levi. What’s going on?”

                She was quiet, which was really scary. I heard her sniffle and take in a deep breath. Oh God. I already knew what was coming. “Levi! How are you feeling? Would you be willing to talk to the police and tell them what happened? Why are you on Erwin’s phone? I missed you so much! We were all so worried!”

                “Worried?” I scoffed. “That’s not what I heard. I heard you guys didn’t give a shit enough to come visit me in the hospital so why the hell would you be worried now.”

                “What?! No one knew where you were! I broke into your place to see where you had disappeared to and I found this horrific scene! Whoever told you that lied!” she exclaimed.

                I looked back over my shoulder to the entrance to the kitchen, feeling extremely angry with a certain blonde. “Oh really now? Tell me everything.”

                Armin’s POV

                People told me that I was following Annie around like a lost puppy. Well, I probably was. I hadn’t seen Mikasa or Eren at school all week. I went to visit them after school, though, of course. They were my best friends, after all! I couldn’t just not go see them. I didn’t blame them for skipping school, though, I did worry about their grades. Missing a week of school is really hard, but thankfully it was just the start of the year, so the work load wasn’t as heavy as it could be.

                School had never been something that I disliked at all. It was most definitely a toxic place, but I’d always rather be at school than home. In fact, I’d almost always rather be anywhere than home. Don’t get me wrong. I love my grandpa. He’s great, but home just doesn’t feel like home.

                But I’ve started to realize something this week. School didn’t really feel like home anymore, either. I don’t think school ever felt like home to me. It’s Eren and Mikasa that feel like home. I miss them. I miss them so much. Even seeing them after school doesn’t really help much. I sit through eight hours of school basically alone. I only have lunch and Art 3 with Annie. Then from there, everyone else has their best friend to be their partner or work in groups with them. I’m so alone.

                Today, though, is Friday and I intend to get through the day as quickly as possible and then I’m spending the weekend with Mikasa and Eren. I just kept staring at the clock. Seventeen more minutes and Art would be over, then I could leave.

                “Armin,” came a quiet, even voice from next to me. I turn my head and Annie is holding up her pencil sketch. Her artistic ability is seriously amazing. I mean it. She’s so creative and I really love that about her. She’s really quiet and reserved, but here, in art class, she’s not.

                “It’s beautiful,” I tell her, taking her sketchbook and looking over her work. I can tell where her guidelines are, but they’re faded. I’m not really sure what’s it’s supposed to be, but it’s eye catching. I’m not really the kind of person to really get the deep understanding of art like Annie is, or even like Sasha, but I can appreciate all forms of beauty, even if I don’t understand.

                She grabbed her pencil and signed the bottom, then ripped it out of her sketchbook and handed it to me. “It’s yours,” she tells me, a ghost of a smile appearing. “This is what’s in my head, what I feel in my stomach, when I’m with you.”

                That’s slightly worrisome considering how erratic the lines are. The entire piece has a sense of anxiety to it, and yet, the way she drew it makes it look so calm as a whole. Looking at individual pieces makes it seem anxious and shaky. “Thanks, Annie. That’s really… thoughtful,” I said, giving her a big smile.

                She nodded and went back to sketching. I looked down at my painting project and sighed. Annie finished hers early, which is why she was allowed to doodle whatever she wanted. A few moments passed and I felt a tap at my shoulder. I turned my head. “Yeah?”

                “I know you’re sad,” she told me.

                “What? No I’m not! See?” I smiled again. “Not sad. Just ready for the weekend.”

                Annie laughed and everyone in the room turned to stare. I couldn’t even believe that she laughed. “See how easy it is to fake it?” she asked, face falling back to its usual resting position.

                I swallowed thickly, and was about to reply when the teacher called for us to put our paints away. I was up in an instant and followed directions, washing my brushes in the sink and cleaning my palette. Before I could finish putting all the supplies away, the bell rang and everyone raced out of the room. Annie walked over to me and helped put everything away. She hugged her sketchbook to her chest and waited for me to follow her out of the classroom.

                “Why are you sad?” she asked once we were in the hall.

                I shrugged and made my way to my locker. “Can’t be happy all the time, right?”

                Her pale blue eyes looked down to the ground and then back up, into mine. “Very true, but there’s a reason, right?”

                I shut my locker and pulled my backpack over my shoulders. “Yeah.”

                “You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you, but if you want to, I’ll listen. I’ll even go as far as trying to help.” He pulled at the strap of her messenger bag and walked away.

                “Annie!” I called out, catching up with her. “Thank you.”

                She was already caught up with Bertoldt and Reiner when I got to her. She nodded and the trio walked off to go home.

                “Armin!” I heard called from behind me. Couldn’t be Annie this time. I turned around and there was Marco, waving at me. I waited for him to catch up.

                “Any plans for the weekend?” he asked, falling in sync to my steps.

                “Yeah, kinda. You?”

                “Jean and I were going to go see a horror movie. We were going to invite Sasha and Mikasa, but I guess they haven’t talked for a while. So, I thought I’d invite you and Annie.”

                That was weird. Mikasa wasn’t the type of person to always be talking about her girlfriend, but she definitely wasn’t the kind to completely ignore her either. Then something else about that response stuck out to me. “Whoa! Wait! Annie and I aren’t a couple!”

                Marco just laughed. “Yeah, sure.”


End file.
